I wouldn’t blame you if you thought there was no way to make fishing with kids stress free. Doing anything with small children can be like moving the president, after all. There’s so much that goes into it and so much that can go wrong, and if you don’t prepare for this as a parent, you could soon find your toddler’s meltdown-fueled tears filling the bilge.
Luckily for you, I’ve lived through a meltdown or two (see the featured image for proof) and have walked away with a few pearls of wisdom to share. Here’s a few tips from a real fishing father that you might not have thought of:
Pack Everything You Can the Night Before
The morning of a fishing trip with kids is going to be hectic no matter what you do. Free up your time in the morning and avoid unnecessary stress before a fishing trip with your kids by packing up the night before. I’ve spent way too many mornings ignoring this advice, and every time I neglect to pack up for my fishing trip the night before, I regret it.
Your tackle should be organized, several rods rigged up, and the boat should be uncovered and ready to go. Several sandwiches and other snacks should be prepared and placed in the fridge so all you need to do is throw them and an ice pack in the cooler the next morning before you head out.
Lay your clothes out as well as your kid’s clothes out. This way you won’t have to run around the house searching for their sun hat. As an added bonus, you won’t wake up their mother: a critical component to relieve tension on any fishing trip with your kids!
Pack Gear That You Can Trust
Don’t skimp on your kid’s gear. Get them products that you know and trust (and possibly grew up on yourself). Resist the temptation to buy the rod with the little princess on it or sports hero. These were designed to catch kids attention in the store – not fish.
Instead, invest in a good rod like the Ugly Stik GX2 or Ugly Stik Elite. You can read why I am such a fan of these rods for kids in another post I wrote, found here. This is the gear I trust my kid’s trophies with and recommend.
Stay Away from Braided Line
Stick with normal monofilament, specifically Berkley Trilene XL in 6lb test. It has withstood the test of time, was probably the first line many of you reading used as kids yourself, and flat out works. It’s also inexpensive if you need to cut through a few tangles that you can’t undo.
If you aren’t experienced, braid can be difficult to use, and it is much more difficult to untangle. Granted, it’s normally less likely to tangle, but this rule does not apply to rods entrusted to children.
Yes, braid is stronger than monofilament when looking at diameter vs. diameter, but 6lb test monofilament is really all you need to catch every panfish in the lake, most bass your kids might hook, and also pickerel and small catfish. Larger fish can be caught too, so long as your kids let the drag do its job (a tough, but possible challenge for a four-year-old).
There’s also the safety consideration. Your kids can slice their hands pretty good with braid. They basically get a rope burn, but the line has such thin diameter that it can cut them deeply if they get excited and grab it while a larger fish thrashes.
It’s just not worth it. If you’re fishing with kids, stick with monofilament.
Bring Your Own Rod
I know this flies in the face of what you’re going to read elsewhere. Most people will tell you to leave your own rod at home, but I disagree with that emphatically. True, the day is not about you, but the fact remains that you’re probably more capable of putting fish on the hook than a young child. If you want to keep their interest, you need the action to be fast.
With that said, you are not to reel in any fish. Your job is to hook them, and hand the rod over to your children. I don’t care if your personal best largemouth is on the line, you hand that over to your kid and have them reel it in.
The only exception to this would be if they actually express a desire to net your fish. They will probably want to be the net man on occasion after seeing you net their fish (they want to try everything out that they can). If that’s what they want to do, that’s fine, but always ask them if they want to reel it in or net it.
Prepare, Prepare, Prepare
In addition to packing up for the big trip, you ought to have some idea of where you’re going, what kind of fish you’re going to target, and where on the lake/pond/river you have the best chance of catching them.
You don’t want to figure this out as you go. Remember, when you’re fishing with kids, you’re basically acting as the fishing guide or charter. They expect to catch fish quickly. Your job is to make that happen. Fishing with children is very stressful if you aren’t catching anything!
I wrote a detailed post that talks about how to prepare for a fishing trip with kids, as well as another that is an illustrated guide to fishing with kids. I highly recommend that you spend some time reading them. They will show you how to scout good fishing spots to give your kids the best chance for success, and also how to prepare yourself mentally for the task at hand.
There are other great websites that have good information about how to target panfish. For example, this article by In-Fisherman has some good tips for targetting bluegill in the spring.
I would much rather invest a little time in learning where fish tend to hang out later in the day than risking a meltdown just to catch the early bite. It doesn’t really matter what time of day you go fishing for sunfish or bluegill (which are the species you should target with young kids), anyway. They’ll bite constantly if you can find them.
Let Your Kids Sleep In
You’ve probably heard that fish bite best in the morning, and you want to give your kids the best chance at catching one, so it’s very tempting to wake them up before dawn and get them out there.
This would be a huge mistake.
Kids (especially young ones) need their sleep. If they don’t get it, they turn into little Linda Blair’s from The Exorcist out there on the water.
When my son comes racing into my room at 5 a.m. asking that we go fishing, I know I’m in for a long day.
Travel in Packs
Bring reinforcements. You are much better off if you have another adult in the boat or on the bank with you. Having another adult to help out with situations is one of the most important things you can do to make fishing with kids less stressful. Bring your spouse, a grandparent, a friend.
It is enormous help to take turns keeping the children occupied while the other adult handles a tangle, or reties a line. One adult can ask the kids what is in the livewell while the other deals with a snag. One parent can break out snacks while the other applies sunscreen – whatever the case may be, reinforcements are great!
This also allows for rapid fish catches. Two adults supporting a child makes it more likely that fish will be caught and the kid has a good time. I’ve had days fishing with my wife, father, and son where we all were handing my boy our rod one after another. It was all he could do to scramble back and forth across the boat to get to the latest fish!
One word of warning: any adult who is holding a rod and hooking a fish is “fishing” and needs to be licensed. Check your local regulations, but that is the general rule (at least in all the states I’ve fished).
Get a Fish in the Livewell as Fast as Possible
If you want your fishing trip with kids to be full of smiles instead of tears, then your mission is simple: catch any legal fish and throw it in the livewell or bucket as fast as you possibly can.
Do not make the mistake of trying for a “big fish” first. Target little fish. Bluegill, sunfish, yellow and white perch – anything small, common, and easily caught. Get them in the boat and hand them to your kid to put in the livewell.
This will “get the skunk off the boat” (meaning you’re successful as you’ve caught a fish) and will also give you an outstanding meltdown aversion system. Any time you see your little one about to take a turn for the worse, ask them to go check on that fish! They’ll do a mental 180 and run off to check on their “friend.”
Name the Fish and Refer to It Frequently
This goes hand in hand with the above. Your new fish friend in that livewell needs a name. I suggest Ted, personally, but what do I know?
Talk about Ted. Point out how nice it is for him to be here. Encourage your kids to go check on him from time to time and change the water in the bucket or hit the aerator on the livewell pump. Make Ted as much of a part of the crew as anyone else so that when you need to divert your kid’s attention, Ted can captivate it.
Make sure you keep an eye on Ted. If he is the only fish in the livewell for much of the trip, your kids are going to put him through a lot of stress. Get back to fishing to try and make him some friends as fast as you can.
Teach Your Kids About “The Fish Doctor” and “Going Back to Their Mommy”
Once you put one fish in the livewell, your kids are going to want to put every fish in the livewell. This just can’t be so. Some fish are too small, or out of season and would be illegal to possess. Others get injured by the hook and need to be released immediately to give them the best chance for survival.
The problem is if your kids are expecting the fish to go into the livewell or bucket, and you need to throw them back immediately, you’re tasked with saying that dreaded “NO” that tends to go over so well. So what can you do instead?
Enter the Fish Doctor and Fish Mommy.
When we catch a fish that is too small, we say that we can’t put him in the livewell because “He’s too small and scared. He needs to go back to his mommy!” My son, being ever helpful and kind, delights in sending the fish back to go find its mom.
Likewise, when a fish is bleeding and I want to release it quickly rather than stress it more by taking it for a little ride, I tell my son that the fish needs to go see “The Fish Doctor.” Then, my boy just tosses them back without complaint.
After doing this a few times, my son started making the call all on his own. “This one is bleeding, Daddy! It needs to go see the fish doctor!”
This works SO much better than saying, “No,” as every parent on earth can imagine.
Try to Avoid Saying “No”
Frankly, if you want to take some pressure off of your next fishing trip with your kids, you should set yourself up so you can avoid saying “No” as much as possible. Only bring lures that are safe. Pack only bring rods you don’t mind kids using. Avoid having items nearby you don’t want them handling. Do these things and there’s not much you need to say no to.
Obviously, if they are in danger or acting up, fire away the ol’ N-O, but I’m just saying to set yourself up so you can avoid it when possible as there are few words on earth kids hate more.
Let Them Pick Their Lure
Note: this advice applies after you get that first fish in the livewell.
If you read just about any parenting guide out there, they all seem to say that little kids crave control yet get almost none. You can give kids a measure of it while fishing and still have a successful, stress free day if you let them pick the lure.
With that said, if you just hand them your entire tackle box and tell them to pick something, you’re probably going to have an awful time. You’ll also have a very prickly mess to deal with. You don’t want to do that.
Instead, pack a “Kid’s Day Box” with 2-3 different techniques or lure colors that you think would work fairly well. Ask your children to pick which one they want to try first. Reduce the available options but still make it their choice. This will help them feel in control and will increase their pride when they catch a fish on a lure that they picked out.
Do What They Want, Not What You Want
Sometimes, my son wants to troll for larger fish. Other times, he wants to go fish off our dock for blue gills, or even swim in the water and net fish that I catch. A few times, we wind up forgetting to fish altogether and just look at minnows or try to catch frogs.
It’s important to stay open minded. If you try to force something on your kids, they aren’t going to enjoy it. You’re out there spending time with your little ones and keeping them safe. They’re nowhere near a screen, and are having a good time regardless. You have accomplished your goal as a parent for the day. Pat yourself on the back and just go along for the ride.
While this advice should wait until after they’ve caught a fish or two (kids have crazy ideas), your trip will have far less stress if you let them run free a bit and call the shots.
Talk About “Boo Boo Fish”
Every kid should have a healthy respect for “boo boo fish” by the time they’re two years old. This is the name my wife and I gave to pickerel, northern pike, bowfin, bullhead, catfish, and any other species that could maim a child.
My son wants to hold every fish he catches. If it weren’t for our explaining how some were too dangerous because they’d give him “booboos,” we’d risk a fit. Let me tell you,it’s a tough call to determine if it’s worse: standing between a toddler and their jellybeans, or their trophy northern pike).
Labeling such fish as “booboo fish” also helped add an aura of mystery to these species. They weren’t the primary ones we would target, but every so often they would be caught as a nice “bonus fish” and my kids eyes would open wide with wonder. It’s a cool site and makes for some great photos!
Have a Good Fish Story at the Ready
You should have a good fish story to tell your kids before they catch anything. Trust me. You want an out in case something goes wrong. In other words, you want to be able to spin things in a way that keeps your kids itching for more.
Talk about the frumpy Ol’ Catfish McGilliwhiskers, and how he’s been known to pull whole rods and reels out from young anglers hands. Then, if a big fish breaks off the line, it’s not your fault: That mean Ol’ Catfish McGilliwhiskers struck again!
Just today, my son had a monster (to him) northern pike get right to the boat before it cut the line and swam off with some jewelry. I’m proud to say he handled it like a champ! He told me he was happy to have a good story for his mom! Prepare your children for the possibility they will lose a fish or two in life, or there is no way a fishing trip with your kids will ever be calm.
Please note that using this technique does run the risk of creating a minivan full of little Captain Ahabs, or just terrifying them into thinking they’ll be pulled overboard, so try not to overdo it!
An Ounce of Prevention…
Always remember, a prime objective is for your spouse to allow you to take them again next weekend. Bringing back bruised and bleeding children is not conducive to this goal! Just use some common sense and you should be OK!
If you’re interested in more details about how you can fish safely with your kids check out my post here. I go into much greater depth about additional watchouts and safety concerns on the water.
Keep Things Safe
Safety should be your priority. If your kids get cut, scraped, or burned, they aren’t going to have a good time and neither will you. There’s a few basics that you simply must cover to ensure everyone has a good time:
Life Jackets
Most states require children to wear life jackets. Even if you’re in an area that doesn’t obligate this, you should still insist your children wear them. I trust Mustang Survival with my children’s lives. This company makes premium life jackets for kids that are comfortable for them to wear and very effective. I’ve pool tested them with my children and they work. I can’t recommend them enough!
Wear Your Kill Switch
You need to wear your kill switch anytime the outboard is running. If your friend invites you out on their boat, but doesn’t want to wear their kill switch, it’s time to find a new friend. You need to insist on this. So many lives have been claimed because someone neglected to wear a little lanyard clip. It is ridiculous.
Leave the Treble Hooks At Home
A common theme of my website is that I hate pairing kids with treble hooks. They are dangerous and much more likely to catch a little one. If you insist on using them, make sure you pinch down the barbs.
Bring Along Sunscreen and Sun Gear
Make sure you lather up your kids with sunscreen. There’s nowhere to hide from the rays while you’re out on a boat (unless you have a Bimini top, I suppose). These days, they make some pretty good sun shirts and hats that can minimize the amount of skin that is exposed to the sun. Regardless, you should keep an eye on your kids as they tend to twist and contort in all sorts of ways that uncovers areas you wouldn’t expect (they have a habit of lifting their shirt and exposing their lower back – if you notice this, make sure you apply some sunscreen).
Make sure you keep up with this. One application is likely not enough. If you’re really interested in having a stress free trip, you need to ensure your kids don’t get a sunburn while they’re fishing. It will tire them out and make them cranky fast.
Point Out Every Turtle You See
Never forget that the trip is an experience in and of itself. You aren’t just fishing with your kids – you’re spending a wonderful day outside in God’s beautiful, vast creation with them.
Take your time while you’re out there. Point out nature’s curiosities like all the turtles lined up on a log. Let your children pick a lily flower or two as the boat drifts by. Listen to the call of the loon and have a contest to see who can imitate it better.
If you make the trip completely about fishing and the fishing stinks, so will the entire memory. If you make the trip about hanging out together on the lake, anything can be special.
I know from experience how hard this is, especially if you have a competitive streak and love fishing, but it is so important.
Ask Your Kids for Help Constantly
Make your children part of the process on a fishing trip. You want them to feel like they are part of the team and helped to earn any success. Not only does this make them feel good, but divvying up the chores with your kids on a fishing trip will make the excursion much more stress free for you.
- If they aren’t scared of nightcrawlers, their job should be getting a new one each time a hook needs baiting;
- If they like holding fish, have them carry each one to the livewell or bucket;
- Ask them to get your sandwich or drink;
- If they’re old enough and you feel it’s safe, it’s OK to ask them to grab a rod and reel;
- If you’re trolling with your trolling motor and need to stop, let them press the button;
- Never forget to ask them to help you reel in or net a big fish!
If you made a grown adult do these things, you’d come across as bossy. If you ask a four-year-old for help, they feel like they’re being treated as equals.
Mix Things Up
Most kids don’t have a great attention span and will quickly tire of any one thing. Thus, it is critical that you mix things up while fishing with your children. Once you have some panfish in the livewell, don’t be afraid to pull out the spinnerbaits and troll for chain pickerel.
Consider switching spots, or even going tubing for awhile. Drive them over to something cool to look at, like a major bridge or culvert tunnel. Go for a cruise up a creek just to say you did it. Keep things fresh and you’ll keep them entertained for longer. Then, when they’ve had their fill of the distractions, go get some more bluegill in the boat!
Communicate With Each Other
My son and I occasionally forget that we each aren’t psychic. We each have our own idea how the day should go, or what we should do next, and at times he especially gets pretty frustrated with me if I don’t do what he’s thinking.
It should go without saying that neither of us are mind readers, but that’s a tough concept for a child to grasp.
Communication is important when you’re fishing with your kids. Let them know what the plan is. Let them know if you need to swing the boat around before they cast. Ask them if they need you to get the net, or if they are hungry.
Make sure the two of you are talking. When your kid communicates something with you, praise them for their great teamwork in telling you the plan. Having an open dialogue reduces frustration. Reduce everyone’s stress by letting your kids feel free to bring up their concerns on the fishing trip so long as they do so in a positive manner.
Secure Their Buy-In for Leaving
If your kid is really enjoying their fishing trip, getting them to leave can be very challenging. I know that some of the greatest meltdowns my son has thrown have come when it was time to leave.
It’s important to have something else that’s fun lined up for them after the fishing trip. This could be swimming with a friend, wading by the shore, or even getting ice cream. It gets hot out there on the boat so going out for slurpees or a sundae is a great idea and an easy way to get your kids to want to finally leave.
This also makes for more of a tradition. Think back to when you were playing baseball as a kid. I’ll bet one of your favorite parts about game day was either going out for pizza afterwards or at least visiting the concession stand for some popcorn and candy.
Go ahead and make an event out of the entire day!
Give Them Something to Do at the Boat Ramp
Launching a fishing boat alone with a kid can be very stressful. If they’re little you really don’t have any other option than to keep them in their car seat while you do it, and they aren’t always pleased about being left out of the fun.
I solved this by handing my son the remote control for my trolling motor and telling him to help “drive” the car. It is harmless* as it won’t do anything when the motor is stored, and it lets him think that he’s helping out.
*NOTE: I would not recommend handing them the remote for trolling motors that have an auto-stow and deploy, such as the MinnKota Ulterra. It’s just asking for trouble!
Let Them Wade in the Water
This should only be done in areas safe from predators like alligators and sharks, but if you’re in a temperate lake or pond, wrapping up the day by letting your kids walk around in the water a bit is a great way to finish. It’s also a good reward for them if they’re quiet and calm while you load the boat up.
If you decide to do this, just make sure you apply common sense. Don’t let them play on the boat ramp unless you can get them out the instant someone else needs it. Someone launching or retrieving their boat has the right of way.
Improve Your Own Fishing Skills
The better you are at fishing, the less likely little hiccups and problems are going to faze you. Even though it can be tough to leave your kids behind, once in awhile you need to take a “mental health day” and just go fishing yourself. When you do, work on your own skills so that when you take your kids out, they’ll be more successful.
If you need a little help getting over the hump, check out this post I wrote about improving at fishing. It discusses 5 common fishing mistakes and what you can do to avoid them. You’ll also find helpful information on some digital tools and resources you can utilize to improve your (and your kids’) success rate.
Realize that No Fishing Trip With Kids Will Be “Completely” Stress Free
Yes, this whole article is aimed at helping you have a stress free fishing trip with your kids, but just bear in mind that this is one of those “nice goals to have.” The bottom line is that things are going to go wrong and you are going to have to deal with this. The better the attitude you bring along, and the more you keep things in perspective, the better the trip will be for everyone.
Remember that you are just as susceptible to being cranky when you get hungry or a bad sunburn, so make sure you have enough essentials for yourself as well! Try to keep your cool as best you can and remember that you’re out their building memories that will last a lifetime — good or bad — so don’t ruin it!
Conclusions
Fishing with your kids doesn’t have to be that stressful. In fact, most of the angst is self-induced. Always remember that your children love you and want to spend time with you. They just want to be in your company and spend the day running around outside, exploring all the beauty nature has to offer.
So, relax, take a deep breath, and just enjoy yourself out there. Your time with your kids is fleeting. Eventually they will grow up, you won’t be as cool to them, and you’ll have real things to stress about. Never let fishing be one of them.
I hope this article helps you reduce your stress level while fishing with your kids. If you need more help, consider purchasing my book as it attempts to reduce the learning curve with fishing and help parents plan a good day with their little ones.
Thanks,
John Paxton
